David Platt on marriage…
“It’s not always easy. As soon as I say – I know that as soon as I say, “Men, the priority in your life is to love your wife. Love your wife”, I know that there are men that are saying, “You don’t know my wife.” I know. There are difficult situations represented across this room. You say, “Well there are a lot of reasons not to love my wife.” This is where I want to remind you, men, that your love for your wife is not based on her worthiness to be loved. It is based on God’s command in you to love them. And that is huge.
The world says your love for your wife is based on what you get back. It’s based on how much they deserve it. It’s based on what is most fair and right. And if they don’t do something right, then they don’t deserve your love. That is not what Scripture says. Scripture says, “Husbands, love your wives.” And this is why – this is why we need to see the connection between the Gospel and our families. How can men who live with unlovable wives love them?
The only answer is the Gospel. This is the picture of the Gospel. The whole picture of the Gospel is a God, not who loves the lovable, who loves the unlovable – who gives his life for us when we were the most undeserving. How in the world can you love your wife? By the love of God in you. It’s his Grace in you. It’s 1 John 4:19. We love, why? Because He first loved us. This is a love that God alone can give in us. This is why the Gospel and Grace is at the foundation of our families, because his Grace is the power to do this.
And you think about these tough marriages, tough wives, and you think, well how – how can God call me to love my wife in those situations? And the answer is the Gospel – it’s the Cross. It is you going to God and saying, “God, my wife is very unlovable right now.” And God says, “Loving the unlovable is my specialty.” And he gives the Grace – God never gives a command that he doesn’t empower us to carry out. Say that one more time. God never gives us a command that he doesn’t empower us to carry out. His Grace – this is why we need the Gospel, this is why we need Grace.
Culture says as soon as things are inconvenient in marriage, when things are not working out with your preferences – well, then you move on. No, the Gospel says when things are inconvenient, when things are not working out in preferences…then you love your wife. You love your wife, you love your wife. This is priority, you loving your wife.”
And now CCC men, this is for us. THIS is the test. THIS is where the rubber meets the road. This is where we integrate our beliefs into our action and get integrity. What we say (I am a Christian), we mean (I, therefore, will love my as Christ loved me). This is where we really can demonstrate the words Live UP.