did this get your attention?
Man school was great this morning and in our small group break out, we discussed the issues surrounding married sex and where we, as men, struggle. Honesty and transparency helped us get a breakthrough.
Keith touched on this in our session and that is the primary differences between man and woman in the bedroom – he needs sex to reach intimacy and she needs intimacy before she is interested in sex.
God designed it this way. Was He insane? Surely the Creator of the universe could have come up with a better solution – right?
As we have discussed all this fall, in tough situations, we need to ask “What is God up to?”
So here is our “breakthrough” – in His “insanity”, maybe, just maybe God designed man and woman with this radically different approach to sex for precisely the reason to draw us to Him. I mean think about it, if our wives wanted sex as much as we did, if we had sex all the time, if she was driven by sex the way we are, where would the true intimacy be? Where would God be? If she met my needs 24/7, it would be one less reason I’d need God.
As Keith said – true, pure marital sex where I place her needs ahead of mine and she puts my needs ahead of hers enables a couple reach a level of deep sexual intimacy that just a physical hook-up cannot touch. It also enables a couple to live out the Gospel and gives us just a taste, a hint of what intimacy with God approaches.
I don’t know, maybe I’m crazy but it was a bit of a revelation for me. Remember, God’s in control. He knew exactly what He was doing when He put us together.
Rather than beating our heads against the wall at the frustration of why “she doesn’t want sex like I do”, we need to be diving into what God wants of both of us. He wants us to die to self, die to putting my needs ahead of hers and to radically pursue intimacy with her outside the bedroom. If we do that, the sex will take care of itself and most importantly, it will radically reshape my relationship with my wife. It will also drive me deeper in my radical dependence on Him.
Men, I don’t know about you but I cannot do this one on my own. I radically need God in my life. I radically need Him to teach me how to selflessly love my wife and put her needs ahead of my own. I need you Lord Jesus. I need you.
The radical call men is to LiveUP in our service to her. I hope this helped you.