Are you under a cloud of disruptions? Is it just persistent? You just can’t seem to get out from under it? What is going on? Why is this happening to me?
Does any of this sound familiar?
Tomorrow at ManSchool we will tackle this issue. Perhaps rather than asking “Why is this happening to me”, we should shift and say “God, what are you up to?”
Last week we talked about agreements we make like “I’ll never trust anyone again” or “I’ll never be loved” and in our small groups we broke this out and shared our individual agreements we’ve made and how they have played in our lives.
The reason these things keep coming up is that we’ve made an agreement. It is why some girls seem to always date the wrong guy. Guy after guy…they are all alike. And they are all wrong. As soon as she realizes, “this guy is a jerk who is using me”, she breaks it off with him only to jump to the next jerk. The problem goes way back. It isn’t the jerk’s fault it is her issue. She has made some agreement deep in her heart like “I’m really not worth loving” or she gave her heart (and possibly more) to the first guy and he hurt her and so she settles in with “All guys are going to treat me this way.” And here, years later, it is one failed relationship after another.
Or perhaps it is a sweet woman who battles this seething rage that shows up. Other people constantly disappoint her or don’t do things the way they should be done. Her expectations are too high and she lives with a spirit of unforgiveness.
She’s made an agreement somewhere. Each time this storm comes, it gets stronger and stronger and does more and more collateral damage to those closest to her. There is a deep wound there that she has talked about and “dealt with years ago”. But in reality, she hasn’t. Perhaps she has forgiven her father for his affair and divorcing her Mother but there is a deep agreement in there about her….something she did caused this – or – “My Dad never did truly love me”.
Sound crazy? John Eldredge speaks of when his Father became an alcoholic and left the family and what a devastating impact that had on John and somewhere in the midst of all that, John decided it was his fault his Dad started drinking. (How does a teenager reach that conclusion?) That agreement wreaked havoc on John’s life for years.
These agreements are real and these disruptions that continue to show up are real. God wants to lance the wounds that come from these agreements and help you break the bondage.
You can run from them but you cannot hide. You can deal with them now and let God mercifully come into this – or – you can run and hope to avoid the next storm but that is no way to live life. Each time these storms come, they eat up more and more of you. They wear you out, beat your down and exhaust you.
It’s time to deal with it. God is up to something in you in these tough situations. Some brokenness here would be good. Probably a few tears shed wouldn’t hurt either. Let it go. Dig it up, confess it and ask God to help you break these agreements you’ve made.
There is rich restoration on the other side. That’s what we’re talking about at ManSchool. Tomorrow morning at 6:30am and we’ll be done by 7:30.