Don’t do life alone – the fellowship of men

This has been a rough week for me.  The matrix is coming at me hard.  Every morning this week, I’ve woken up around 5:30 and been unable to go back to sleep.  I find myself at the office before 7am and am here until 6pm.  I can’t seem to get a grip on all that I have to get my arms around.  My daughters leave for college next week.  I know tough times await us as we deal with an empty nest.  I feel as if I am aboard an out-of-control freight train.  There are more things that beg for my attention than I have enough time in the day to tend to.

Ever been there?  Can you relate?

What do you do about it?

And so here I am struck by just how hard life comes at us as men.  Yesterday, a friend came to see me.  He was processing through an issue in his life and just needed a sounding board.  He needed the fellowship of men.  We all do.  I was delighted to listen and hopefully probe into his heart and offer the little guidance the Lord would lead me to give him.  That’s what this “fellowship of men” is all about.  We are here to hear and know each other’s stories.  We are here to walk through the tough things of life.  Here to laugh with one another, cry with one another and fight for one another.

But here is an undeniable truth, without a fellowship of men around you, you won’t make it.  Man is not meant to try this life alone.  A man in isolation is not a pretty picture.  A godly fellowship of men around you will see things you are missing.  They’ll probe and question things that maybe you don’t want to own up to.  And they will speak truth into your heart when the enemy has you beaten down and convinced you’re a hack, a fraud and a loser.

What scares me is that I see so many men in our midst going it alone.  They won’t drop the façade.  They just pose and present the “I’ve got it all under control” face.  We need to change that.  We need to draw other men into this.  If you are reading this and you are a “going it alone” man, it’s time to change that.  Come to ManSchool.  Engage in the Carver ministry.  Form your own small group of men and meet weekly.  Share each other’s stories.  Go deep.  When it is your turn to talk, let it fly.  Open up.  Get it all out there.  Drop the front.  Be real and fight for one another.

There is great, great power in this.  The power of community, of restoration, of affirmation and there is power in you giving yourself as a friend to another.  There is power in laying down your life to stop and listen to another man.

Watch this 3+ minute video from John Eldredge’s son on this topic.  In here he talks about “Being intentional.  Going deeper.  So many men have a lack of friends.  It’s too easy to isolate yourself and I don’t do well in isolation.  I need guys around me.  Guys who want what I want, who are chasing the real thing, pursuing their dreams, walking with God and fighting for one another.”

Great theme for this fall for us — Chase the real thing.  Pursue our dreams.  Walk with God.  Fight for one another.  That is LiveUP!

 

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One thought on “Don’t do life alone – the fellowship of men

  1. So right, and so desperately needed. As a kid if someone dared you to make friends, would you have? Most dares were not that kind! Just something foolish that might get you in hot water. So will you now dare? Dare to trust that Jesus will be with you if the friendship doesn’t work, or your secret gets out? If you are left standing there emotionally naked but clothed in Jesus righteousness? The love of well chosen friends covers a multitude of sins. You are in a safe place to get healed. “If the Son shall set you free, you shall be free indeed!”

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