here are the slides from this morning >> Which Kingdom 4 – living on the Edge
Here is Andy Stanley’s talk we watched >> http://justaskit.org/edged-out
you can find this entire sermon series at justaskit.org
Isn’t it true, when tempted, that you have self-conversations where you talk yourself into it? Our greatest regrets? We were there before, during and after.
We start “thinking ourselves” into a dumb decision.
“There’s nothing wrong with. Nothing wrong with. Nothing wrong with…” and we talk ourselves right up to the line/edge – we excuse it, excuse it, excuse it.
We all do this – it is a bad idea to assume that if something is not “wrong”, then it’s right. If there is nothing wrong with it, in general, then it is right for me. That’s a bad idea. As a believer, I am commanded to live above merely right and wrong. You can get into a lot of trouble doing things that are just not “wrong”.
Bad moral decisions are generally preceded by a series of unwise decisions.
There’s nothing wrong with…
Having lunch with her – “after all, we all work together”
Having dinner with her – “we all worked late”
Just she and I working late together
Confiding in her – “you know, my marriage isn’t going so great”
Listening to her
Dropping by her place
If a friend saw this pattern developing, he’d sense a series of unwise decisions moving in an unhealthy direction.
The truth is, in this area, we will lie to ourselves long before we start lying to others. And, I will have a hard time admitting what anyone on the outside can see happening.
We move closer to the edge, closer to the edge and someone calls us out on it and we say, “hey, I’m fine” … closer to the edge, closer to the edge.
Living on the edge is fine if you’re counting calories but it is unwise in this area. With moral things and expressions of sexuality, there are certain lines that if you cross, will create extraordinary regret and extraordinary complexity.
If there is a God that knows you, created you, cares for you and has a future planned for you, what would you expect God to say on this subject? Go for it? Walk the line? No, we’d expect Him to say what any parent would say to his 17-year old son = “Not so close”
Paul told the church in Corinth (which was a pagan town, very secular) to “Flee from sexual immorality” 1 Corinthinans 6:18. Don’t flirt with it. Don’t see how close you can get to it. No, flee. Run. Get as far away from it as possible. It’s what you’d want your wife to do. What any Dad wants his children to do. What any 17-year old boy wants his 13-year old sister to do.
We all know this is right for those that we love – but – sometimes, we’re not so sure it is right for us.
“Flee from sexual immorality, all other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.”
Sexual sin is like no other sin – there’s nothing like it. When someone walks into his office with extraordinary regret and complex things they’re trying to walk through, 90% of the time, there is something sexual involved. People move on from all kinds of things but things sexual just seem to stick around. Part of it is that we live in a culture that believes sex is just a physical act and then we realize, “I don’t think this is just physical, it effected my soul, my heart and my conscious and it effected how I view other women”.
—– ACTIONABLE ADVICE —–
The issue with sexual sin isn’t forgiveness – God forgives – the issue is consequences – which includes the damage done to you and your soul and the damage done to those closest to you. We don’t think about it in the moment. We progress down that sequence of events, we confided in one another, emotional bonds are formed and, like lighting a forest on fire, the situation rapidly gets out of control. No, you don’t see it in the moment – in the moment it just feels “right” and you’ve found your “soul mate” (a lie) and it’s too late. But…can’t you see? Don’t you see how dangerous this is? You can stop this before the forest catches on fire. You stop it by fleeing. When tempted, flee. Don’t kid yourself and take the next “innocent” step. Run … the other way. Confess it. Wall her off. Tell your wife – you want to talk about a great way to kill this temptation off? Tell you wife! Bring it into the light. Hide nothing. And make it perfectly clear to this other woman, “nope, not going to happen, this ends now, you need to find a counselor”. And then, perhaps most importantly, be brave enough to examine your sin. “How did I get here?” — “What is it in me that needs this outside validation?” — “Which kingdom am I serving – my needs, my wants, my lust, my desire to be adored/valued — or — am I going to serve the Kingdom of God?”