here are the slides from this morning > Which Kingdom 7 – transparency and agreements
As we’ve discussed all fall, life can be pretty hard on us – we had broken parents who hurt us deeply or siblings that left lasting impacts on us, broken marriages, failures in business, addictions, etc. We turn to money or things or porn or booze to medicate our pain. We’ve discussed that in great detail.
But something else happens out of all of this – we form agreements with the lies. The enemy shows up in your battle and tries to convince you that your failures are you. “You’ll always be a ____”.
Eventually, after enough convincing, we agree with the enemy and form an agreement with his lies. “You know, I will always be a ______”.
Relationships which had been good, break for some reason and we say, “Yep, you see, there it is. I cannot sustain meaningful relationships”. Or perhaps we were betrayed by a parent or a coach or an old girlfriend way back when and when a current relationship breaks, you tell yourself, “You see, I can’t ever trust anyone”.
I can’t attach the clip from this morning because it is from a paid subscription at Ransomed Heart but in that clip, we saw those four guys unpacking how agreements formed in their lives and how they still surface today. What you also saw is how they have learned to identify them and break them down before they take root as “truth”. In part, they do that because those were four guys who knew each others stories inside/out and were willing to probe and listen and do the heavy lifting of fighting for one another.
What is coming this fall at manschool is the plead, the push, the encouragement for you to form your own tribe like we saw displayed this morning – that group of 2-3 other men you can go deep into life with. Your own “Fight Club”. More on that later but it rings true to a core belief of our LiveUP Tribe … that if a man tries to do this life alone, he’s going to get taken out. I don’t believe you can do it alone. Form a group and fight for one another. The rewards of this are immense.
here is a transcript of the key things they said …
Morgan – I have a very poor filter of what battles to take on and what to pass up. I’m very scared to ask God, “Is this battle for me?” It feels noble to just take it on. It takes far more courage to ask God and be willing to say “no” to others.
You see a need you can meet, and your good heart can get you in trouble. That lure is strong to help meet the needs of others, but it can come at a great cost. What is it in me that is unwilling to take the question to God and to be unwilling to not come through for someone?
I have to break a pretty deep agreement of “I am loved if I achieve” – striving gives me some false life, false validation that feels something like the Kingdom of God – but – it doesn’t last, it doesn’t work, and it doesn’t bring the fruit.
Craig – Do I orchestrate this, or do I let God? I have a battle to trust God. It goes to an agreement. The old wound shows up of being a seagull and this agreement forms of, “I don’t have anything to say, anything of worth, anything to add” – that God gives me lots of stuff but the way I view it that it is all just wasted on me. The talents are wasted on me.
Bart – temptation. Enemy comes in this agreement of, “that’s what you are. You have nothing to offer. You are totally disqualified.”
Warfare, yes. But there is repentance in there I need to offer up. I must make a choice. I committed a sin and I need to repent.
Morgan on his brother’s illness – numbness, anger, discouragement, hope, profound sense of sadness – you lose the ability to BS in that kind of environment.
The healing we wanted didn’t come and yet, God has been bringing so many miracles through this situation – not the miracle we asked for, but the miracles we needed of restoration of relationship, of authenticity, more of the Kingdom coming from a network of people.
In the suffering, it is God, or it is understanding – but you don’t get both. Something deep in my heart is choosing God. While I profoundly sad and angry, I feel like I am staying true “I am choosing God. I choose to walk in integrity and strength and receive the miracles He is bringing”.
I must break the agreement of “I have to come through”. How I’ve walked this situation is vastly different of how I walked my wife’s illness three years ago. Back then, I was the hero, Superman. “I must come through. I am her husband, her counselor, her psychiatrist, her girlfriend, her father” … and I suck at all of those things other than being a marginal husband. And I decided to let go and I literally collapsed on the ground and God began to father me – that began the fathering process – and in that, I took the superman cape off and I burned it in the spiritual realm and said, “I am done with that story, I’m going to just be her husband and trust God to come through in all these other roles for her”. It took courage to say, “I’m not going to be her savior”.
Now, with my brother, I offer in strength, offer in being present. Then, I release them, I bless them, and I bring the Cross of Christ between myself and their battles and I let it go. It’s the same suffering but a very different experience for me in not carrying it.
Do you see it? Do you see how the old wounds, the old lies weave their way into each of these men’s stories? Do you see how the agreements resurface? But more importantly, do you see how adept they’ve become at identifying the agreements and deconstructing them? For some of you, this is brand new material, a brand new concept. Welcome to a deeper layer of the battle you face! This example this morning hopefully gave you a picture of what agreements are like and how you can combat them. Again, you’re far better to do this with a close-knit band of brothers helping!