Is God a tyrant who is always disappointed in me? Is He that image of an earthly father shaking his head at my failures?
Or … does He delight in me? Could that possibly be?
In my last experience in Colorado, they walked us through this prayer exercise. The Holy Spirit indwells us. When you accept Jesus into your life, Jesus comes into your life! Jesus told his disciples the Spirit would come … an advocate to help us. So, it is this thought of the Spirit of God dwelling/residing in me and my body as the Temple of God. The Temple houses God. He walks with me and talks with me. His Spirit nudges me along the way daily if I’ll listen. In prayer, they asked us to “go looking for Jesus” in our being. He’s there and He is just wanting you to find him. In my prayer, I came to this doorway in my mind and I opened it and there sat Jesus on a sofa and and He stood up and said, “I’ve been right here waiting on you, let’s go”. No judgment. No condemnation. No look of disgust. No … He was just waiting on me to come looking for him.
Cleaning out my desk at work, I came across notes from 9 years ago at JH Ranch and a talk given by Heather Johnston. Here is an abbreviated version…
She had a hunger in her life for a deep relationship with the Lord filled with passion. But she was guilt ridden and had forbidden feelings of not pleasing Him. Driving with her young son in the car, she was doing battle with those feelings and in an instant, those feelings of not pleasing Him were replaced by, “Heather, I want you to know just how much I love you.” His presence appeared in the backseat of her car. She was floored, washed over and overwhelmed by His love.
And so yes, God is huge and He is holy and He is the High Almighty but He is also a lover. Those who have chosen to abandon all to go after Him — always — come into contact with a lover instead of a dictator. The Song of Solomon says, “You have stolen my heart … my heart burns, blazes like a fire for you, yes like a mighty flame. Mighty rivers cannot quench this fire”.
Burning. Blazing. A torrent. This is the Father’s love for you.
John the Baptist (Matt 3:11) said Jesus will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire! Catherine of Siena immersed herself in the Song of Solomon for years and said, “God is a divine madman, crazed and drunk with His love for man.” Mary Madeline walks past the male hierarchy and throws herself at Jesus’ feet and washes them with her hair. Nothing else mattered. All of her sin became as finite as the smallest atom in Him. Gone. He was all that mattered. She goes down in history as one of His great disciples, deeply loved, instead of Israel’s hooker.
God is emotional over me. He thinks of me in a charming sort of way. He sees my personality and does not want to change it. He likes my traits and my uniqueness. The Creator loves His creation. Obedience and principles don’t draw us closer to God. It is the encounters and experience and relationship that does. What if we shifted everything from loving God and loving others as the baseline of our faith to > it is all His love for me? If it all hinges on what I can bring to him, I’ll end up disillusioned. Works don’t get me there. His love does.
Do you know you are deeply loved? That He adores you and is pleased with His creation? What if that is simply enough?
Nothing to fear. Nothing to hide. Nothing to prove.
The man that knows he is deeply, deeply loved by the Father and live his life that way. Just imagine living your life with … nothing to fear, nothing to hide, nothing to prove. It’d be amazing and it is yours for the taking.